Journal Idea

I was going to write a blog post about the shittyness of one person that I have been experiencing lately. I decided not to. Not that I haven't ranted about it. I just decided to type it up on the computer, and keep it under a locked password folder that only I can access. I ranted and rage on that piece of paper, and then saved it. I've always found writing down my frustrations to be a good experience for my soul. I can get them out of my head, and then once I've written it, my frustration has disappeared and I don't feel so shitty inside. There's just particular things that this person says or does, that makes me feel like they don't have a heart beating inside them. It's a terrible judgement yes, but well earned. I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt surprised by what was said. However, it shall not be repeated here. This is going to be a happy post. Imbolc is today. One of the eight sabbats. Tomorrow there shall be a post about Imbolc. For now, this is all you get, and I'm off to have a lovely night celebrating.

Rosalinda, xoxo.

Crazy Wild Donkey Rides and How I Get Things Done

*Disclosure* There could be material within this post that some people might find offensive. Try to remember, this is not about you, this is about my personal feelings and it is an outlet for me. If you do find something offensive.... maybe reflect on why it offends you.

I'm struggling to write my essay. It's not because it's hard, or that I don't know the content. It just seems like I'm in a mental block stage, because I'm so near the end of Trimester 3. It's like my brain and body know that at 12:00am Saturday, I don't have to worry about any more uni work for about a month. So brain is gearing up early to go on holiday. Now most people I know, say "Why do you leave it to the last minute?" or "If you had started earlier, you wouldn't be worried about it now." or "Well I've been working on mine for aggesss so it's already done." (insert smug face afterwards here)

I'm going to let you on in a secret. I tried the whole planning out my essay, do it a month before it's due, get everything organised, etc. While there is nothing wrong with that for some people... guessed what happened to me. I failed. I failed that assignment so spectacularly that I sunk into my depression for a few days. Nothing my friends or family said helped me. I just cried for about 3 days over it. The next assignment came around, I did it 3 days before it was due, I got a Credit. 

So obviously, that whole doing it early method does not work for ME!. Me personally. I'm well aware that that is how other people need to complete my assignments. However, it does not work for me.

My way of doing assignments? Sure, I collate all my materials early, and skim through them and things like that... but the actual process of writing.. happens in the last couple of days before it's due.

I was thinking (dreaming) last night... and my mind came up with this fabulous thing (as our subconscious likes to do)
 
It goes: "Rosa, who do you know, that has given you advice about Wild Donkey Rides and how she gets things done? How she has these fabulous ideas, and then only needs to work on them for a few days, and then releases them into the universe?"

I'm like...thinking...thinking..thinking... brain epiphany "Goddess Leonie!!!" 

Little voice: "Exactly. You marvel at how she does things, but deep down, you know that is how YOU perform some of your tasks. Now if Leonie does it, why is there something wrong with the way You do it?"

Me: "Well... guess there's nothing wrong with it."

L.V: "So why are you so upset about it?"

Me: "Because my friends criticise me about it."

L.V: "Not all of them. Some of them simply accept that's how you create things and don't particularly care."

Me: "Yea, but what about the ones who do?"

L.V: "They will come around eventually... and if they don't.... are they meant to be your friends?"

Now this discussion has remained with me all day. My horrible feeling of guilt has been with me all day, because sometimes I do better then my friends. But really, it's how I operate. I don't need to feel guilty over it. I don't need to have negative responses about something that is part of me. It's part of who I am. How I am. How I achieve things. 

While writing this, it's like all my guilt has suddenly disappeared. I know what I need to do for my assignment and my brain fog is lifting. Sometimes all it takes is writing down what is currently occupying my head space. Clearly, this seriously was an issue dancing around my head.

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.

Have a fabulous day, and talk soon.

Rosalinda xoxo

Slut-Shaming

It seems "slut-shaming" has become a hot topic around the media lately. Even Dr. Phil has done a segment on it. However, while Dr. Phil seems to be leaning towards the theory of "women should cover up on", Laci Green (my new inspiration in life) has been offering up her opinions on it. The same as Jenna Marbles. Now I love Jenna Marbles as well.... but really girl. That video.. not cool. You essentially just dragged down your entire race in one freaking video. Seriously. Then here's Laci in the other corner of the boxing ring, propping us back up again.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I haven't done my fair amount of slut shaming. I have. I'm human. I've made mistakes. But as I've been getting older (hopefully wiser) I've realised, that if I had the perfect body that society loves, shit, I'd be wearing short dresses, skirts, midriff tops, everything. I'd be relishing in the fact that I could wear them. So, good on you girls with the hot bodies who can look fabulous in those clothes.

Also... mid-riff tops... I'm pretty sure that back in the 90's, they were all the fashion rage. So why are people opposed to them now? Because they're paired with a shorts or a skirt? Man, get over it. It's clothing.

Even if you're slut-shaming girls because, hey, they're sleeping with people... how is that any of your business? Do you even know the person you're talking about? Or is she a stranger that has some article of clothing on you don't agree about? If you don't know her, don't judge her. If you do know her... DON"T FREAKING JUDGE HER!

Also, why don't men get slut-shamed? They get high-fives for sleeping with 3 girls in one night... girl sleeps with 3 boys in one night... slut-shamed. No high-fives for her. Double standards in society, prominent right here.

Judging girls shouldn't be just about slut-shaming. It's about everything. Don't judge each other.

So this is another one of my rants about society and what I find annoying.

Here are the links to the Dr. Phil episode, Laci Green and Jenna Marbles.

Have a wonderful day

Rosalinda.

100 Things To Do in 2013

As most of you know, I love Leonie Dawson. I love all her stuff, I think she’s a wonderful lady and I admire her so much. Due to this love I have for her, I have bought her Create Your Incredible Year work planner, last year and this year. It had so much amazing stuff in it, but perhaps the hardest one is the “100 Things To Do in 2013.” It sounds easy. It really does. But after I wrote down about 15 things, I was stumped. Just sitting there going…. “but what else is there?”. I googled some. I thought of more. I borrowed ideas off other people but changed them slightly. So here is my list of “100 Things To Do in 2013.” Let’s see how many I can cross off before 31st December 2013.

1. Maze in Tenterfield. (There is a maze in Tenterfield that I really want to go through)
2. Make cards
3. Go to Brisbane for NYE!! (Perhaps one of my big ones)
4. Have 1 smoothie per week.
5. Paint nails once each month.
6. Make new friends.
7. Cardmaking group. (I would love a group of ladies who all get together and make cards)
8. Gym bunny
9. Walk every day 30 mins
10. Belly button piercing
11. Dinner nights with friends
12. Finish flower tapestry
13. Do ballroom tapestry
14. Design a tattoo for wrist (now going to be foot) - Kim, dragon butterfly
15. Buy 5 new pairs of shoes (It is my list after all)
16. Lose 10 kilos
17. Reinstate Switch Off Sundays
18. Visit the beach every time I go to Coffs.
19. Delve more into magic.
20. Kiss a boy.
21. Kiss a girl.
22. Stick to BodyTrim for 1 month.
23. Read all of the book club books.
24. Go out dancing 6 times.
25. Go to a movie by myself. (slightly scary)
26. Write fan-fiction again.
27. Watch less T.V. - only on DVD
28. Take pictures of my friends.
29. One new picture every week.
30. Use my camera.
31. Give blood.
32. Send two letters every month.
33. Go bush-walking.
34. Road-trip to Tamworth.
35. Practice Yoga / Pilates
36. Meditate.
37. Keep my house neat.
38. Save $10 every week.
39. Celtic festival, Glen Innes.
40. Christmas day at Mum’s.
41. Set a morning ritual.
42. Set an evening ritual.
43. Private.
44. Watch the sunrise.
45. Watch the sunrise on a beach.
46. Get 6 massages.
47. Visit the butterfly house with friends.
48. Eat outside more.
49. Scrap America trip.
50. Do a dream diary.
51. Use healing crystals.
52. Frame flower tapestry.
53. Give it to Nan.
54. Blow bubbles.
55. Do a dress-up day.
56. Take photos of the day.
57. Have 6 picnics.
58. 1 picnic at the beach.
59. Buy an anklet with bells on it.
60. Wash my car every week.
61. Donate some of my books.
62. See Joel once. Done!!!
63. Complete Creative Goddess Course
64. Learn Italian.
65. Find a penpal in Italy.
66. Review books.
67. Buy vegies from local market
68. Buy myself flowers 12 times.
69. Pay car off.
70. Tarot reading.
71. Psychic reading
72. Take brownies into work.
73. Give Jess jewelry stuff.
74. Putt Putt Gold
75. Do more felting.
76. Private.
77. Write a book about Kimmy.
78. Buy 2 more dragon statues.
79. Organise DVDs. Done!!
80. Do a wine-tasting.
81. Spend a day out in nature.
82. Watch 26 movies - by alphabet.
83. Watch 2 Italian films, in Italian.
84. 30 mins to check Facebook and email per day.
85. Send homemade birthday cards.
86. Learn how to twerk.
87. Visit Byron Bay.
88. Buy a new bra and undies set.
89. Don’t buy any health magazines (they spin out the same stuff every month, most of which I know already)
90. $100 for goddess circle.
91. Wear more dresses
92. 1 blog post every week for card and magic
93. Celebrate every Sabbat.
94. Buy a jewelry wardrobe. Done!!!
95. Finish all the books on my kindle.
96. Grow a flower.
97. Do the 21 day gratitude journal.
98. Go to Ebor falls for half a day.
99. Go to bed early.
100. Private.

So there are my 100 things. Yes, a few of them are private. They are really personal and I don’t want to share them with the world. Every month, I’m going to see which ones have been completed. Some of them have been completed already. I actually had forgotten about them, until I was like, “Hey, I’ve done you...WOOP!!”

Join in if you feel the call.. Start with 1 a month and see how you go! Post down in the comments.

Rosalinda.

Ramblings

My ramblings will be filling today's post. Don't say you haven't been warned.

I can't seem to focus on my assignment so I decided to write a post. Might as well right? Do something, other then just sitting here on the computer bumming around on Facebook. Maybe if I write something I'll be able to focus on my assignment later tonight. So many thoughts going around my head, and so many feelings that I want to distract myself from. I ended up running away to Coffs. Couldn't deal with things in Armidale. Had to go home to my adoptive family. Frankly, sometimes they feel more like my real family than anything else.

So basically instead of doing my assignment (and writing this blog post) I'm looking at pretty pictures, or watching tv series, or watching a movie, or flicking through my magazines, or playing cards on the computer. Basically anything that can distract me, I am doing. I really shouldn't be. The assignment is due on Friday and I have 2 due after it next week. Blergh. Hate uni. It's almost finished, hooray.

That's enough for now.

Bye,

New Tactic for my Weight.

BodyTrim. I bet many people go, “Oh, not another diet tactic.” Well, yes, yes it is another diet. However, it also teaches you healthy eating habits, portion control, and what is better to eat for your body.

It is a high-protein, low-carb, low-fat, no- sugar diet. I’m well aware that this is a diet. I know that if I stop following it and return to my old habits, that the weight I will lose will come back on. The purpose of doing BodyTrim for me, is to lose weight, develop healthy habits that I can then transfer to my new lifestyle of eating better for myself. I want to be healthy, I want to feel healthy and I want to look hot. Stop-heads-and-turn-to-gawk hot. People-worshipping-me hot. (Ok, so maybe not quite that far.)

The thing with BodyTrim, is that my adoptive family is on it. Told dad when I came home that I wanted to go on it and see what happens while I was home. I lost 3 kilos in 3 days. I know. Without exercise. Now, I know that I won’t lose 7 kilos every week. I’m not that stupid. I know that I’ll lose a few kilos in the first week and then maybe 1 kilo every week if I’m lucky. I also know, that when I come off BodyTrim, I won’t be able to go back to eating pizza, KFC, Macca’s, etc, every day again. I’m realistic enough to know that I’ll have to reintroduce carbs and fruit back in slowly to my diet afterwards. The good thing about BodyTrim… it also has a maintenance plan to follow after you get to your goal weight.

It is also encouraged that while on the plan, you do 30 mins of walking, and aim to do 10, 000 steps a day. *Note to self: Buy pedometer.* That is the only exercise that is required. Easy enough for me. I have a gym membership that I fork out $30 a fortnight for… better start using it properly. Especially because 30 mins of walking is really not that hard. Put some good music on, throw my towel over the timer (I hate watching the timer) and I get into it. I suppose if I am having a really good day, I could also throw in a bike ride while I’m at the gym. Yes, I know, the cross-trainer and the rowing machine are really great for burning calories but I hate those things with a passion. If I’m going to exercise, I’m going to make sure I enjoy exercising, not hating the idea of it.

So here we go again. On the losing weight train. Hopefully it stops at the right destination. I’m actually a little bit excited about it. I can’t weight to go shopping. (see what I did there?).

Here’s to beginning new goals before the new year.

Butterflie kisses and rainbow hugs,

Rosalinda.

Family Over at Christmas Time

This topic is an interesting one, an can also be quite a painful topic to talk about….our family and their behaviours at Christmas time. Generally, we all expect Christmas to be a happy, perfect day, with no family arguments or any sort of unhappiness. However, a lot of that doesn’t happen. Most of the time, Christmas is an happy occasion. When my mother, her partner and I celebrated it the week before (only time I could see her), we had a happy Christmas. There was lots of love, happiness with our presents, enjoying good food and the company and it was a lovely time.

Skip to the proper Christmas Day one week later, and while it was mostly happy for everyone else in my family, it was a bit of shit day for me. It was a small Christmas, with my dad, his partner, nan and pop, my great-grandmother and her partner. Now my family is/has always been concerned with my weight, mainly because of the health implications that run in my genes, diabetes, heart problems, those type of things. My adoptive family, is also a little concerned because of the mental affect it has on me and how easily I slip back into my previous eating disorders. So, suffice to say, very used to getting commented on by my family. It is generally caring, done in that way that you know they will help you if you need it. My great-grandmother on the other hand, is a complete and utter bitch about it. (Just so you know how pissed I am with her right now, I had to substitute bitch in for the c word instead. Oh yeah. Mega annoyed). We were all sitting there, before Christmas lunch was ready, when she loudly said, “Oh I see you’ve put on weight.” I just looked at her. Yes I’ve put on weight. I know that, she knows that, my whole family knows that. But I haven’t put on any more weight since I last saw her. My weight is staying at this place and isn’t rising anymore (thank fuck.) Yes, I guess some would say “She’s just trying to be helpful.” Except she wasn’t. She had that tone in her voice that really rude people use to make you feel inadequate in their eyes. Guess what Great-Grandma? It bloody well worked extremely well. I felt tiny and useless, and like I hadn’t accomplished anything in my life.

I just didn’t know how to react to it. I couldn’t react without making a spectacle… and I love my Nan way too much to ruin Christmas for her…. So basically I let it go and didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day. I ignored her questions and wasn’t exactly pleasant. My day felt ruined. I tried remembering that it’s how you dictate the rest of the day as to how it goes but I just couldn’t let this go. I kept replaying the memory in my head. Even now, as I type this, it replays in my head.

Maybe I’m being over-sensitive. I dunno. But hey guess what….. It’s time for me to start eating healthy again. I’m sure some people would be like “fuck, why would you bother after that?” but see, what she didn’t know… is that I already was planning to lose weight. I’m going to do BodyTrim for 1 month and see what happens. After that month, I’ll probably keep going, but giving my mind that end point helps. I was already planning to do this before the new year, but after Christmas had finished. I just wanted Christmas off to enjoy eating some yummy Christmas foods. Turns out, I wasn’t allowed to do that after all.

So yes, BodyTrim the new plan of attack. I shall write more about that in an upcoming post.

Hope everyone had a much more joyous Christmas then me, and if you didn’t, I spose there’s always next year.

xoxo